It’s Friday…Look at These Jerks.
Want to know where the cruelty of children comes from? Come closer, little girl, and I will tell you where it comes from…
Kay, now that I got all my creepy out – DUN DUN DAAHHHH!!! The Scholastic Book fair.
Yep, those newspapery, impulsive-purchase-preaching leaflets we all loved. Spreading moral filth and cruelty throughout the land. Ahem, throughout the second grade. In 1997. If it pleases the court:
Oo – wee! W-E-D-G-I-E-A-L-E-R-T!!! Or, as my mom would put it, Snuggie Alert. Hrm.
Moving on to Exhibit C)
And there you have it, folks, the source of all childhood cruelty. Special thanks to Jenna for moving out and leaving this gem behind in the bathroom.